The Worst Office Party Holiday Gift Game Ever

O.K. Here's a game designed to foster ill will and bad cheer.

Unbelievably, I've seen it in two different offices over the years. Whoever thought it up should be required to watch all 24 hours of A Christmas Story on TBS every year from now until eternity, and even after that.

Everyone gets a gift of as close to X dollars as they can. Nothing too expensive so everyone can join in the fun. X was usually 20 or 25 bucks and people generally spent that much. At least the first year. That's because their souls have not yet been sucked dry from the sheer cussedness of what now ensues.

Everyone places their wrapped present on a table.

Everyone draws numbers out of a hat. It turns out the highest numbers are the best, but not everyone understands this at first.

Number one chooses from any one of the presents.

Number two may either unwrap a new present or take the unwrapped present from person number one.

This continues until all the presents are unwrapped. Friends steal cool toys from other friends. The first few to pick see good stuff pass through their hands or off of their laps several times before they get the bath soaps someone threw in because their cousin Edith, with the impaired nostrils, sent them as a birthday present three years ago.

And the guy who opened the envelope with the X dollars worth of state lottery tickets is enraged the next day to learn that the richest guy in the office, who took the lottery tickets from him on the very last "take" of the game, leaving in its place a Weird Al Yankovic album, won $1,500.00 on the tickets.

Please join my crusade to stamp out this ill-conceived game whenever and wherever it rears its twisted, ugly head.