David in DC: Lottery Ticket

Monday, July 16, 2007

Lottery Ticket

The lottery ticket vendor in the lobby of my office building keeps selling me defective tickets.

They never win.

I think the whole thing is rigged, so that hardly anyone ever wins.

Wait a minute, you mean that's how it's supposed to work?

I need to start a lottery. Sounds like a great business, from the other side of the counter.

Wait another minute, you mean the government grants itself a legal monopoly on lotteries?

If I run one, they call it a numbers racket and throw me in the hoosegow?

Mel Brooks was right: It's good to be the King.

5 comments:

Moonbeam said...: I sure am glad to know I am not the only one buying defective tickets. Bahhhhummmbuger!

Now that I have a heads up on the way it's supposed to work thanks to your post here, I wont get my hopes up like I usually do. Ya know, opening up the newspaper in the morning slowly reading across the numbers hoping to first see the mega number come up then taking a breath to see if any other numbers have come up....gezzzz nuttin', not even one. Priceless....crumpling and scrunching up the dang ticket and tossing it in the trash.

My motto: Nothing ventured, nuttin' gained. So, I keep on buying those defective tickets, hoping to be the "hardly anyone" and winning the whole shabang....or even a coupla thousand would be nice :); July 16, 2007 at 3:19:00 PM EDT
Mrs. Hairy Woman said...: The odds of losing are far better depending on how you look at it..... But start a lottery pool and you might just win once in awhile... Good luck with the next set of tickets..; July 16, 2007 at 4:15:00 PM EDT
Anonymous said...: I stopped buying that crap in Ohio.
The lottery is allegedly giving in upwards of 50% of the profits from the various lottery games to the wretched schools in the state. They have had enough of my money. High input=low return.

Save the couple of bucks and put it towards the kid's college fund, you'll get more out of it.; July 16, 2007 at 6:51:00 PM EDT
Tara said...: Not only are lottery tickets defective, but so is Publisher's Clearing House! I've entered, but they've never shown up at my door with the "big check". No balloons, no champagne...Nothin. What a rip-off.; July 16, 2007 at 6:57:00 PM EDT
sybil law said...: Here's my idea for a lottery: how about people just hand me their cash? Then, every once in a while, I will decide to let some random person (assigned a number so there is no prejudice) have some cash.
Well, I like it, anyway.; July 18, 2007 at 7:32:00 PM EDT