Dial M for Humor

With Moonbeam, Michel, and my mom for correspondents, my inbox overfloweth with humor. This one made me chortle:

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84). We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.

The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked:

'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response:

'Got stoned once and fucked a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'