Friday, January 19, 2007

Play Along at Home

Our neighborhood elementary school is running a fund drive to put up a "marquee" in front of the school. You know, the kind of thing that says "Band Concert, Tuesday, 6:30" or "Happy Summer Vacation"

The idea is that, if you donate $35.00, you can have a brick in the wall that will hold the marquee inscribed.

The inscription can be up to three lines, with up to 18 characters in each line (including spaces).

They're supposed to say things like:

We Love Generic
The Smith Family
Ed, Sue & Phlegmy
But ever since RFB suggested buying one and inscribing it with lyrics from Pink Floyd's The Wall, I've been coming up with thoroughly inappropriate inscriptions.

Now I think we could get away with:

All in all it's
just another
brick in the wall

But not:
We don't
need no
education
and certainly not:
Hey, teacher
leave those
kids alone
Thinking them up is more fun than haikus.

Here are a couple more:

Education
Shmeducation
Let's eat

Live fast, die
young, leave clean
underwear

I love this
school.
Humbert Humbert

Now you try.
[Author's note: edited after original posting on account of Author's malignant superego. That's bullshit! Opposition to this editing was voiced by Author's raging id. Author's ego could not be reached for comment]

12 comments:

playtah said...

A few off the top of my head:

I farted
On this
Brick

*****

I missed
The window

*****

Made in China

*****

< brick>< /brick>

*****

My brick
Hit your
Honor Student

*****

Got brick?

*****

Bricks
Before
Chicks

*****

I'm in this wall
With no
exit strategy

David in DC said...

All I can say is wow, playtah.

Awesome.

Rachel said...

David, I can't even compete with Playtah. Now you know why I am the sidekick.
I did try a few so here you go:

Here lies Grandma
May She
Rest In Peace

She's Not A
Brick House
I am

Save A Brick
Turn A Trick
Ride a Prick

I can't
Breathe

This is
Cheaper than
A Headstone

Mom, I just
shit a brick!

David in DC said...

Thanks for playing Rachel. These are great.

I'd love to see what happened if I submitted any of these.

It sure would be fun to provoke a reaction.

Because of that social justice thing I posted a couple of days ago, I've re-read "Rules for Radicals" and I'm spoiling for a fight with The Establishment.

In the cold light of day, this is obviously not the fight to pick.

But it could be fun.

laughingattheslut said...

I can't bet any of that.

Once there was a little brick named Baldric
The End


I just noticed that I have a link.
I'd better go write something.

Anonymous said...

"Hidden in one of these bricks
is a $1000 bill."

Moonbeam said...

How bout...

Reading, Writing
Arithmetic
Here is my special
Brick

David in DC said...

Laughing: thanks for joining the fun. That's a very minimalist story you've got there.

anon: That's one sue way to make sure the wall doesn't last very long.

Moonbeam: Poetry, sheer poetry. (I could tell 'cause it rhymes.)

David in DC said...

"sure", not sue.

Rassin' Frassin' typos.

!@##$%^(*

laughingattheslut said...

The original story was:

Once upon a time there was a little sausage named Baldrick. The end.

But we weren't discussing sausages.

I had thought that the original was:

Once upon a time there was a little turnip named Baldrick. The end.

But we weren't discussing turnips either.

Anonymous said...

"With my last breath, I write this"
- Fortunato

David in DC said...

Wow, give that anonymous commenter a cask of Amontillado.