I haven't been posting about anything serious because I don't want this to turn into a running depression blog.
No further panic attacks. Yay!
Still feeling anxious and blue about a host of things. One is my job.
But today at work, I reached what may be some clarity on where one of the problems lies.
I have a detail-oriented, project-oriented job in an office where a small staff handles the care and feeding of numerous volunteer committees, who put on lunchtime educational seminars, do pro bono work, and edit a yearly Practice Manual, among other worthy endeavors. It requires multi-tasking and the ability to keep a bunch of balls in the air at once. I do it pretty well.
But I have a second job, not in my formal job description. I'm competent (or better), collegial, and empathetic. This leads to a bunch of folks seeking my opinion or advice on a host of things beyond my formal writ. Sometimes personal. Sometimes work-related. Sometimes tricky, quirky, confidential or involving folks who just "don't play well with others."
In addition to my own work, I'm doing Deanna Troi's job on Picard's Enterprise.
And I just don't have the tits for it.