Sunday, January 7, 2007

Dirty Disney

Here's one where everyone can play along:

(1) The judge in divorce court looks down at Mickey and says: "Let me get this straight, you want to divorce Minnie because she's a little peculiar?"

Mickey replies: "No sir, your honor, I want to divorce her because she's fuckin' Goofy."

(2) Donald and Daisy stop into a no-tell motel to do what adult ducks do in such a place.

They get to the room and Daisy discovers Donald is unprepared.

A thoroughly modern waterfowl, Daisy says :"No glove, no love."

She suggests Donald try the front desk.

Donald waddles down to the front desk and explains his predicament. The night clerk has encountered this situation before. He pulls a condom out from under his counter and proffers it to a grateful Donald.

As Donald turns around to resume pitching woo, the night clerk clears his throat.

"Excuse me sir, would you like me to put that on your bill? " he asks.

Outraged, Donald harumphs.

"What kind of a pervert do you think I am?"

If you know any others, please contribute them in the comments section.



ANON1 said...

Didn't they just catch Tigger smacking some kid on film?

Anonymous said...

Did you hear that Captain Hook died from jock itch?


Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they had sex. Pinocchio therefore went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

David in DC said...


David in DC said...

A1: The "Yup" was to the Tigger comment. That news story's what reminded me of the jokes in the first place.

Playtah: You've doubled my repertoire on this topic. Many thanks.

David in DC said...

This one just came in by e-mail from a friend:

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

Migdalor Guy said...

As the saying goes "the first time I heard these, I fell off my dinosaur laughing..."

Thanks for the stroll down memory lane from this "ol'-timer."

Yvette said...

These are hysterical, and totally new to me!

Thanks so much for sharing.