Friday, February 9, 2007

Serenity Prayer Parodies

IMHO, the Serenity Prayer is the single greatest non-denominational prayer ever written. It comes from a longer prayer written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. For the 3 of you living under a rock, it goes like this:

G-d, grant me:
The Courage to change the things I can,
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and
The Wisdom to know the difference.

There are also some swell parodies:

“God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The Good Fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the Eyesight to tell the difference.”
Found Here

"Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I cannot accept, and
the Wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today
as they be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work
12% on Monday.
23% on Tuesday.
40% on Wednesday.
20% on Thursday.
5% on Friday.

And help me to remember...
When I'm having a really bad day,
and it seems that people are trying to piss me off,
that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4...
to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me!
Amen."
Found Here

A Librarian's Serenity Prayer
Lord grant me:
the Serenity to accept that not everything can be found on the Internet...
the Courage to go to the Library
and the Wisdom to evaluate the information I do find.
Found Here

A Wikipedia Serenity Prayer
Almighty Jimbo:
Grant me the Serenity to accept the pages I cannot edit,
The Courage to edit the pages I can,
And the Wisdom to whack the hell out of any troll who gets in my way.
Found Here

A Screenwriters Serenity Prayer
“God, grant me the Serenity to accept the nominations I cannot change,
the Courage to watch the broadcast without hurling sharp objects at my television, and
the Wisdom to know the difference between the opinions of the stodgy Academy members and my own.”
Found Here

A Synagogue/Church Goer's Serenity Prayer
"G-d,
Grant me the Serenity to accept the liturgical norms I cannot change,
the Courage to correct the abuses I can change, and
the Wisdom to know the difference

Now we hug.

There. Much better. Anyone for coffee?"
Found Here

8 comments:

dmarks said...

I'm at least glad I have the Internet so I can find out where the library is.

Moonbeam said...

These are all Great and Wonderful!! Thanks for the cool post. Feeling good I am NOT one of the 3 that live under a rock. No creme or sugar in my coffee, please.

David in DC said...

dmarks: welcome. Hope you keep visiting

Moonbeam: will that be for here or to go?

Moonbeam said...

For here or to go? Hmmm, lemme think...depends on how comfy your chairs and couches are and if ya have some good music in this establishment. If none of those thingies...send me packin' with a to go order, steaming hot.

Toss in one of those blueberry scones too, please.

Robert Bruce Scott said...

Great Scott:

Grant me the Whisky to accept the things I cannot change, The Change to afford to patronize a distinguished distillary, And the Wisdom to choose a particularly good year.

Anonymous said...

This is great; educational and funny!

xiferof daton said...

the gamers version
grant me the serenity to spare the noobs
the courage to face the pros
and the wisdom to tell the difference

Steve Wilbur said...

Rock or no rock, it is interesting that though Reinhold Niebuhr gave himself credit for writing this prayer, it also shows up in the liturgical writings of Friedrich Oetinger some 200 years earlier.