I Don't Bother Chasin' Mice Around

That line, in Stray Cat Strut, has always struck me as the epitome of cool. No cat could say anything hipper or cooler.

I thought of that as I read this humor piece in the weekend Washington Post. It's perhaps the hippest, coolest piece the author could possibly write, at this moment in his career.

Mazal tov to Gene Weingarten. I've never met the man, but he's brought humor to my Sunday mornings for a good many years.

If You Want to Find Funny Stuff on the Web ...

Ask a ten-year-old.

This is on that wonderfully subversive Macromedia Flash developers' site, "AlbinoBlacksheep".

It's hilarious, and edumacational, too.

Happy belated Earth Day.

Two Outta Three Ain't Bad

I think Bill Clinton was a pretty good president.

But his signal weakness meant squandering practically his whole 2nd term for a hummer from an intern who had explicitly told folks before she went to D.C. that she hoped to earn her Presidential kneepads. D'oh. It really pisses me off whenever I think about it.



And then there's the way the Clintons campaign. It's been ugly before; its ugliness this time around is exponentially worse.

Obama is green, but he makes few missteps and is more-than-occasionally inspirational. When I check where he stands, we usually agree

Obama v. McCain, I probably go with my left-wing sensibilities and vote Obama.

But McCain is a truly admirable guy. I may not agree with him on a lot of things. I think McCain-Feingold is a crime against the 1st amendment, for instance. But I'm confident he could be an able president.

If my party makes me choose between the Clintons and McCain, it gives me my first hard presidential choice since I became eligible to vote in 1980.

Good Point

Where You Been, DiDC?

Full Clinical Depression.

Panic attack in boss' office on Tuesday morning. Hadda sit on floor with back to wall and breathe. Apparently I slumped to the ground with my head on the carpet. Was revived with offers by boss to call 911 and to get water. I declined 911 and gladly sipped water.

Never had a full-out panic attack in front of someone else before. Once behind a closed door. This was way more embarrassing.

Led to going home and sleeping til MiDC got home at 3:30 and then muttering something about a touch of food poisoning. The fun detail that I almost vomited in boss' office distracted further 10-year-old inquiries.

Stayed home with a pshrink's note faxed into my office yesterday.

Pshrink first faxed blank sheet of paper overnight. I called work real early, discovered from dear friend on morning shift that there was no Rx for sick day on fax machine, just blank sheet of paper. I called pshrink's emergency line. (I realized later this was probably an overreaction.) He called me back. I instructed him in proper use of fax machine and, apparently, the Rx got through.

Woulda slept all day yesterday, maxed to the gills on anti-anxiety pills.

However, I called my best friend on Tuesday after the panic attack but before I drove home. ( I barely remember this.)

He called me at noon on Wednesday and told me to get my ass out of bed. I drove out to his house, visited with his family, talked, cried and ate burgers and greasy fries from Five Guys. Helped big time.

I worked today and will work tomorrow, on reduced load. Boss, boss's boss, HR and colleagues are all being extraordinarily supportive. It helps.

Monday I see the pshrink. Dunno quite what after that. Obviously I gotta work on triggers for downward spiral. Also this physical manifestation is new in the last couple of months. As I said, it happened once behind a closed door a few months ago and once, disastrously, in front of boss, on Tuesday.

It's as physical as can be. Ashen skin, sweaty clammy face neck and hands, dizziness, nausea. Woozy feeling just short of losing consciousness.

Gotta get that to stop.

I'll keep you posted.

A Gambling Tale with a Moral

From my friend Michel:

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."

With that, she stripped to the waist, rolled the dice, and yelled, “Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down... And squealed..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers... And then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."

Moral ---

Not all Southerners are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But, all men..... Are still men.

Martin Luther King III Gets the Point

The British newspaper The Independent is a useful counterpoint to our increasingly tabloid press.

This comes from its coverage of the 40th anniversary of Dr. King's assassination.

...from re-reading his father's sermons and speeches, King III learned much about the philosophy of non-violence. He cut his own teeth as a public speaker and organiser during his college years, and by co-ordinating the annual celebration of his father's January birthday – Martin Luther King Day.

In 2006 he founded Realizing the Dream, an organisation devoted to tackling poverty, one of the "triple evils" identified by Dr King before his murder. Forty years on, those triple evils of racism, poverty and militarism still loom large.

Dr King's best-known achievements – the 1964 Civil Rights Act and 1965 Voting Rights Act, specifically – tend to overshadow his later battles, fought in 1967 and 1968, against poverty and the Vietnam War. The latter position made him new enemies in the establishment, including J Edgar Hoover, the head of the FBI.

"We've made great strides race-wise, but we ignore the poor," says King III. "Hurricane Katrina showed the world there were Americans living in poverty. Yet even now our federal government acts as if poverty doesn't exist. If we'd spent some of the money we spent on the military in Afghanistan and Iraq on social services and business development instead, then maybe our economy wouldn't be so bad."

"We're still a long way from my father's dream of freedom and justice and equality for all."

Militarism, meanwhile, has run rampant. When it comes to King's views on the War on Terror, Dr King's principles of non-violence apply.

"We had the world's attention after September 11th, the world's empathy and sensitivity," he says. "We squandered it. Everyone knew we could strike and knock people out, so why didn't we show the world that when you're attacked you don't always have to retaliate in kind? Maybe we need to reach out, try to understand and build relationships. That's leadership."

Find the whole story here.

In Memorium: Ted

Love Your Pet Appreciation Day

Growing Hamster or Baby Wookiee: You Make the Call

Ted Returns

Ted is a Movie Star

Monkeyboy and Ted

Ted Says Hi

I Wonder If It Has Something to Do with the Date

I can't respond to any emails today.

Something has crashed on my computer & my mouse is missing

Nationals 2 - 0

My Nats went two for March.

Hoorah! Huzzah!

My fantasy league has started again. The Nats' win yesterday gave one of my fantasy pitchers an ERA of 135.00.

I'll take that trade-off six ways 'til Sunday.

But Steven King notwithstanding, I'm not the boy who loved Tom Gordon.

Play Ball

Here's a brain teaser, in honor of the start of the baseball season:

In one official at-bat, the pitcher has already made ten pitches, the batter has fouled none off, and the batter is still at the plate awaiting another pitch. Under what circumstances is this possible?

I'll answer tomorrow if no one gets it.

What Would YOU Like to Hear?

After dying in a car crash, three friends go to heaven for orientation.

They are all asked the same question:

"When you're lying in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"

The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow."

The last guy thinks for a moment, and then replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say, ' Look, he's moving!'"

A Taraday Rebus

And Many Happy Returns.

Flowers are Red

If there's a better song than Harry Chapin's "Flowers are Red" about the stifling of young creativity, I'd like to know what it is.

My mom, who taught kindergarten for decades, thought this song should be formally required listening for all student teachers.

Someone put some beautiful animation to it:



Go to Youtube if you want to see Harry and the band play it. It's not hard to find and definitely worth the bother.

Churlita Asks

In the last post's comments, Churlita asks:

I've been thinking about therapy again. I'm not sure if it will make things worse or better. In general, do you feel like it helps?

Here goes:
In general, it helps. I know who to call, right away, if ever I have suicidal thoughts, or am so panicky I cannot function.

But when things are going relatively well, it can feel like a waste of time. Especially if you're being so boring, tedious or repetitive that the pshrink is having trouble staying awake.

And when you touch on sore spots, it's not always cathartic. Sometimes it's just ripping a protective scab off a big wound. Which I think is what happened Wednesday night and why I typed the post Thursday that I did.

Things are slightly better today.