If I Have an Opinion, I'll Put it On My Chest

If you agree, you should, too.

No Human Being Is Illegal

I was proud to march today in the huge immigration reform demonstration.

I'm not in the picture above.

I'm not in this picture either.

But I carried a similar hand-scrawled sign. I should know. I hand-scrawled it myself.

It Better Not Suck

Many thanks to my friend, Y., a frequent reader who rarely comments. We had an e-mail exchange earlier today on health care reform. It helped me clarify what's pissing me off so much.

Early on, there was talk of putting Teddy Kennedy’s name on the final version of the upcoming health care reform legislation. In response, Bob Ceska wrote a Huffington Post piece with the perfect headline:

Healthcare Reform Named After Ted Kennedy Must Not Suck

The current bill is way overdue, but it won’t be worthy of Teddy's monicker. It goes a long way, but it doesn’t get all the way to the finish line on:

• Universal health coverage for all who reside within our borders
• Universal, hassle-free portability
• Mental health parity
• Effective pharmacuetical price controls
• Universal access to the full range of contraceptive, family planning, abortion, and reproductive health care services.
• Universal access to medical marijuana.

Oops, I got carried away.

Strike bullet number six. At least if you’re going to quote me.

Baruch Dayan HaEmet

If you knew John, or know Carol or her family, please consider leaving a message of comfort in the guestbook, at http://www.caringbridge.org/.

Hooray for Washington, D.C.

D.C. is now issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples.
It kind of sucks that that's still news. But homophobia is finally on the defensive in jurisdiction after jurisdiction.

David lowers his voice to radio announcer disclaimer guy voice
Please click on the picture to see it with better resoltion.
The best sign is obscured unless you make the pic a wee bit bigger.
David stops straining his delicate vocal cords

G-d bless the church ladies below. I saw them at the rally at the Capitol earlier this year demanding equal rights for gays and lesbians.

How Tequila Works

The Gender of Your Computer

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Diagnostic Genius

My life's a little hectic right now. Thank heavens for the jokes my friend Michel sends:

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash.. That was what was probably making her sick."

"Hmm," the younger doctor said, "pretty sneaky. I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with another woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did. I'm feeling terribly run down lately.

"You've probably been doing too much work for the church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps." As they left, the elder doc said, "Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?"

"Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."

Meet the Laryngospasms

My cousin Deb, from Buffalo, sends this along. Thank you Deb.

Two More Feet of Snow?!