My new friend Tina posted these on Facebook. They're awesome.
Click here for additional Funny Pumpkin Pictures. They're from an old post that's proven popular.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Funny Pumpkin Pictures II
Click here for additional Funny Pumpkin Pictures. They're from an old post that's proven popular.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Hey Jude, You Need a Flow Chart
A funny from the newest member of my blog-fodder joke-forwarding network.
Thanks to Wendy, who makes working in Dilbert-land almost bearable.
Thanks to Wendy, who makes working in Dilbert-land almost bearable.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
A Lesson in a Pair of Pants
Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat.....
He said "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.'
"So, she did and said, 'These are too big, I can't wear them.'
"I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'
"Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm, "said Jack. He thought that might be a good thing to try. So on his honeymoon, Jack took off his pants and said to Jill, "Here try these on."
So she did and said, "These are too large, they don't fit me."
Jack said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Jill took off her pants and handed them to Jack and said, "Here, you try on mine."
So he did and said, "I can't get into your pants."
Jill said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your attitude, you never will."*
*As always, thanks Michel
He said "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.'
"So, she did and said, 'These are too big, I can't wear them.'
"I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'
"Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm, "said Jack. He thought that might be a good thing to try. So on his honeymoon, Jack took off his pants and said to Jill, "Here try these on."
So she did and said, "These are too large, they don't fit me."
Jack said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Jill took off her pants and handed them to Jack and said, "Here, you try on mine."
So he did and said, "I can't get into your pants."
Jill said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your attitude, you never will."*
*As always, thanks Michel
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Is It Time to Start Wearing Paper Bags Over Our Heads Yet?
Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Washington Redskins.
Q. What do the Redskins and Robert Schuller have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.
Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?
A. To FedEx Field - they never have a touchdown there!
Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?
A. Senior Citizen
Q. What's the difference between the Redskins and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
A. The Washington Redskins.
Q. What do the Redskins and Robert Schuller have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.
Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?
A. To FedEx Field - they never have a touchdown there!
Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?
A. Senior Citizen
Q. What's the difference between the Redskins and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Bayard Rustin and the 2009 March on Washington
My friend Joyce came down from NYC on a bus sponsored by Audra McDonald for the big civil rights march yesterday. We met up amidst 300,000 of our closest friends and had a wonderful time.
Bayard Rustin is one of my personal heroes. He organized the 1963 March on Washington where Dr. King made his "I Have a Dream" speech. He was the principal aide to labor and civil rights pioneer A. Phillip Randolph. He was 20th-century America's foremost strategist, practitioner and teacher of non-violent civil disobedience. That's not my assessment. It was Gandhi's.
Yes, that Gandhi.
It's why Gandhi invited Rustin to study in India after WWII.
Anyway, if you've never heard of Rustin, you're missing a key piece of the history of the 20th century. John D'Emilio's biography, Lost Prophet: The Life and Times of Bayard Rustin, is well worth giving a read.
Part of why you don't know about Rustin is that he was gay. So he lived in the shadows of peace movements, civil rights campaigns and coordinated acts of non-violent resistance that could not have happened without him.
I was tickled appropriately pink to hear his name and spirit invoked often and with due reverence yesterday.
One thing I love to do at political protests is read the signs. The two best I saw were:
A) A body-length placard worn by a thoroughly suburban looking teenager which read "I CAN'T BELIEVE WE STILL HAVE TO PROTEST ABOUT THIS SHIT", and
B) The one I've plucked from twitpics, below:
Joyce and I saw these folks on the Capitol grounds.
It's irreverent, perhaps even to the point of blasphemy for some, but I have no dog in that fight.
JESUS HAD 2 DADS
AND HE
Turned
OUT OK
Effing brilliant. You go, church ladies!
Bayard Rustin is one of my personal heroes. He organized the 1963 March on Washington where Dr. King made his "I Have a Dream" speech. He was the principal aide to labor and civil rights pioneer A. Phillip Randolph. He was 20th-century America's foremost strategist, practitioner and teacher of non-violent civil disobedience. That's not my assessment. It was Gandhi's.
Yes, that Gandhi.
It's why Gandhi invited Rustin to study in India after WWII.
Anyway, if you've never heard of Rustin, you're missing a key piece of the history of the 20th century. John D'Emilio's biography, Lost Prophet: The Life and Times of Bayard Rustin, is well worth giving a read.
Part of why you don't know about Rustin is that he was gay. So he lived in the shadows of peace movements, civil rights campaigns and coordinated acts of non-violent resistance that could not have happened without him.
I was tickled appropriately pink to hear his name and spirit invoked often and with due reverence yesterday.
One thing I love to do at political protests is read the signs. The two best I saw were:
A) A body-length placard worn by a thoroughly suburban looking teenager which read "I CAN'T BELIEVE WE STILL HAVE TO PROTEST ABOUT THIS SHIT", and
B) The one I've plucked from twitpics, below:
Joyce and I saw these folks on the Capitol grounds.
It's irreverent, perhaps even to the point of blasphemy for some, but I have no dog in that fight.
JESUS HAD 2 DADS
AND HE
Turned
OUT OK
Effing brilliant. You go, church ladies!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Because Ye Were Strangers in the Land of Egypt...
I got an appeal for contributions this morning, to help people walloped by Typhoon Ketsana and the Pacific Earthquakes.
Rabbi Marla J. Feldman, Union for Reform Judaism (URJ) Director of Development wrote:
As you've seen in the news, at the end of September, Typhoon Ketsana struck the Philippines, Vietnam and Cambodia, causing hundreds of deaths and displacing thousands of families.
A few days later, powerful earthquakes struck the Pacific near American Samoa, triggering three separate tsunami waves, killing over a thousand people, many in the West Sumatran capital of Padang. Subsequent storms killed hundreds of people in the Philippines and millions have been displaced from their homes due to flooding.
Numerous organizations are providing life-saving aid in these areas. For a list of some of the organizations that are accepting donations for this effort go to www.urj.org/relief.
Rabbi Marla J. Feldman
Director of Development
Union for Reform Judaism
To which I'll add only this:
If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
But, if I am for myself alone, then what am I?
And if not now, when?
Hillel
Jewish Sage
(circa 110 BCE - 10 CE)
Rabbi Marla J. Feldman, Union for Reform Judaism (URJ) Director of Development wrote:
As you've seen in the news, at the end of September, Typhoon Ketsana struck the Philippines, Vietnam and Cambodia, causing hundreds of deaths and displacing thousands of families.
A few days later, powerful earthquakes struck the Pacific near American Samoa, triggering three separate tsunami waves, killing over a thousand people, many in the West Sumatran capital of Padang. Subsequent storms killed hundreds of people in the Philippines and millions have been displaced from their homes due to flooding.
Numerous organizations are providing life-saving aid in these areas. For a list of some of the organizations that are accepting donations for this effort go to www.urj.org/relief.
Rabbi Marla J. Feldman
Director of Development
Union for Reform Judaism
To which I'll add only this:
If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
But, if I am for myself alone, then what am I?
And if not now, when?
Hillel
Jewish Sage
(circa 110 BCE - 10 CE)
Friday, October 2, 2009
Mental Health
This post got me to thinking. After I read it, I commented, and then realized that, with some editing, I had my first October blog post:
I've written before about my own stuggles with chronic depression. I am absolutely confident I'd be dead without chemical intervention.
Both my father and my paternal grandmother were suicides, so pshrinks drool like a kennel full of Pavlov's dogs when they hear my family history. The meds put a floor under how sad I can get. I might be miserable, but I don't tip over into suicidal. And when not in the grip of an acute episode, I'm capable of as much joy as any other average twit.
Beyond meds and talk therapy, a couple of other things help.
(A) One is remembering the First Rule of Holes: If you find yourself in one --- STOP DIGGING. Because it's hard to apply the judgment this rule relies on when you're depressed, loving, honest feedback from family and a competent therapist are critical.
(B) Another is the old joke about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a lightbulb. (Just one, but the liightbulb has to want to change.) Again, lovingkindness from those around you is sometimes the only motivation you have left for changing, because the depression obscures your ability to see that change is even possible.
Ultimately, I had to decide for myself to find the help I needed. That entailed, among other things, accepting the idea that depression is an illness, not a character flaw. Crucial to my finally accepting that idea was the encouragement of friends and family.
Withdrawal is a symptom of depression. If someone you love, or even just like, is withdrawing and spiraling downward, reach out to them. There's no guarantee you'll be the right person at the right time, but you might be.
I've written before about my own stuggles with chronic depression. I am absolutely confident I'd be dead without chemical intervention.
Both my father and my paternal grandmother were suicides, so pshrinks drool like a kennel full of Pavlov's dogs when they hear my family history. The meds put a floor under how sad I can get. I might be miserable, but I don't tip over into suicidal. And when not in the grip of an acute episode, I'm capable of as much joy as any other average twit.
Beyond meds and talk therapy, a couple of other things help.
(A) One is remembering the First Rule of Holes: If you find yourself in one --- STOP DIGGING. Because it's hard to apply the judgment this rule relies on when you're depressed, loving, honest feedback from family and a competent therapist are critical.
(B) Another is the old joke about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a lightbulb. (Just one, but the liightbulb has to want to change.) Again, lovingkindness from those around you is sometimes the only motivation you have left for changing, because the depression obscures your ability to see that change is even possible.
Ultimately, I had to decide for myself to find the help I needed. That entailed, among other things, accepting the idea that depression is an illness, not a character flaw. Crucial to my finally accepting that idea was the encouragement of friends and family.
Withdrawal is a symptom of depression. If someone you love, or even just like, is withdrawing and spiraling downward, reach out to them. There's no guarantee you'll be the right person at the right time, but you might be.
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